Knowing that it’s our 30^th anniversary this year, and also looking back over 30 years of history brought to mind a famous poem written by someone unknown. It’s a poem that has had a fairly profound impact on my life – and that continues to put things in perspective for me all the time. 

Gena Robertson, Executive Director SIRCH

It’s called A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

This poem has, as I’ve said, made a big difference in my life.  It’s helped me let the people who come, come and the people who go, go.  And to appreciate the people who are currently in my life teaching me things.

I also apply this poem to SIRCH.

Reason

Lots of people come to SIRCH for a REASON.  It may be their reason – they may have needed some information or guidance or support.  They may have needed a job, or needed to connect.  The reason may have been to show a student what would turn out to be her life passion, or to give a volunteer something to be passionate about. 

Or it could be SIRCH’s reason – the person could be there (whether we like them or not) to help us grow or change.  They could be a mentor – like the consultant who asked “why don’t you make your own money – you have lots of expertise within your organization” and started us on the road to consulting, then social enterprise. It could be the funder who rejected our evaluation efforts multiple times in 1992, but who made subsequent government evaluations look easy and cause relatively little distress.  It could be the woman in the abusive relationship, or the child who was doomed to not succeed in school or the family that had no food – all of whom helped create the programs that have served so many.

(Sometimes it’s both their reason and ours.)

Season

People involved in SIRCH for a SEASON have helped to shape the organization.  People who spent months or years honing the programs or services or social enterprises that they were or are responsible for.  Some were staff, some volunteers, some community partners, colleagues, or mentors.  Some have left at the most inconvenient times but then when they left, it made us re-think the position or program, or it made way for someone else just as great to take over.  

And sometimes, like the volunteers who were committed to Hospice or Women’s Emergency House and who moved on when those programs were divested or closed, there is both a reason and a season. 

Lifetime

Then there are the lifers.  The volunteers, staff, funders or partners who stick by SIRCH for years and years.  Like Wendy, who has been staff, management, volunteer and board member for probably 25 years.  Or Dorothy Owens who was the 3^rd person I ever hired, who worked for the very first program, started Hospice, was a board member, did some consulting, developed some resources, did some training, and volunteered for nearly 30 years on an off although mainly on.  There are funders who have funded us for 25 years.  There are donors who donate unfailingly every year.  People who, by their commitment and continuing support, let us know we’re still true to the philosophy and vision of SIRCH.   

So as we continue into our 30^th year, I hope you join me in treasuring and appreciating all the people who are, or have been, or will be involved with SIRCH for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME.

One of the things we say about Cook It Up and Ready For Retail is that both programs are underpinned by what we call “a gratitude platform.” In other words, we don’t just want to teach food service or retail skills and customer service. We want people to appreciate their unique abilities and experiences, to look for the positives in their lives, to believe that this community wants them to succeed, and ultimately to become a positive role model for others.

As a society we tend to focus on what’s wrong, not what’s right … our news is full of stories of doom and gloom. It can be really difficult to think of things you are grateful for when everything in your life seems to be going wrong. Or when we really don’t want to go to the grocery store because inevitably we are going to be stuck with the cashier or behind the person who always complains about everything.

Often we tend to take for granted the good that is already present in our lives. Imagine losing some of the things that you take for granted:
• your ability to walk
• your ability to speak
• your best friend
• your wallet/purse with all your cash, credit cards and ID
• the use of your right hand

Then imagine getting each of these things back, one by one, and consider how grateful you would be for each and every one.

Or let’s look at some smaller things. Imagine that you have your arms full of stuff and someone runs and opens the door for you. Or that you are absolutely famished but your forgot your lunch and you don’t have much money then you see a sign that says “Hot lunch free today.” Or that a friend told you how much your encouragement and support meant to him. Or that your 3 year old daughter brought you a bouquet of slightly wilted daisies.

Dr. Robert Emmons is a professor and researcher who has focused on how gratitude and thankfulness are related to human flourishing. “To say we feel grateful is not to say that everything in our lives is necessarily great. It just means we are aware of our blessings.”

Countless research studies show that finding a bit of thankfulness each day can actually increase our happiness level and decrease depression. It increases physical health, brain function, and a sense of fulfillment. In our programs we encourage the trainees to develop that “attitude of gratitude.” To make it a habit to express appreciation for all different parts of life, no matter how small.

“If you concentrate on what you have, you’ll always have more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never have enough.” – Lewis Howes

I believe that what you focus on you get more of. If you focus on what you don’t like, don’t want or fear most … guess what? You’ll be noticing things that shore up that hypothesis. If you focus on what you appreciate, are grateful for, and want in your life … you’ll notice the things that prove that mindset – in other words, you’ll be attracting those.

So how do we develop an Attitude of Gratitude?

1. Count Your Blessings: It’s important not to just think about them in your head, but actually write them down. And remember, gratitude is not about a comparison with others nor is it an acknowledgement that other people are worse off than you. Gratitude requires an appreciation of the positive aspects of your own life, even the smallest things. (if you are struggling to think of them try an A-B-C List, using the alphabet as a guide. Go down each letter and come up with a blessing for each one.
   A- animals – I really love my dog who runs to greet me when I get home … she gives me unconditional love.
   B- bed – my bed is so comfortable and warm … I love snugging under the covers.
   C- chocolate – my friend gave me a piece of chocolate cake … it was sooo delicious!
2. Three Things: Find at least three things you are grateful for each day. Do not repeat – each day choose something different. Begin in the morning to look for things to appreciate and make a note for later, or email yourself.
3. If it’s easier, get a Gratitude Buddy. If you think you’ll need some motivation, choose someone to do the 45 days with. Every day email each other your list. It’s inspiring and even when you’re tired and inclined to skip the day, it keeps you both accountable.
4. Be Grateful for Yourself: Quit comparing yourself to your sister, or the neighbour, or anyone. Recognize all the unique things that make you you!

One of the most amazing guys I knew didn’t have much money ever, but he had the unique talent of caring. One day he was driving along and saw a fox that had barbed wire wrapped around its paw – he got out of his truck, went over, unwound the wire …without the fox even biting him. As he stood there, the fox ran off a ways, then turned, sat, and lifted his sore paw. Then took off. But what a gift!

Another time a car was pulled over by the end of his driveway and when he went to see if he could help, the woman clearly had been crying. He talked to her for two hours, and eventually took her to see her doctor. You see as it turned out, she’d been going to commit suicide, had a plan, and had just stopped to get the pills out of her purse. This was a guy who often thought of himself as a failure because he didn’t make lots of money. But what a difference he made! Start to recognize those small gestures in your own selves, your gifts and talents. It will help you recognize them in others.

1. Acknowledge other people and thank them for inspiring/ helping/ supporting you. We tend to talk to other people about the teachers, friends or mentors who have inspired us, but often forget to tell them how much what they did or said meant. What a difference it makes to be acknowledged. So don’t wait – text, write, call or visit the special people who helped you along the way.

When we train ourselves to look at life through the lens of gratitude rather than disappointment, we find ourselves happier and more at peace. There is so much to be grateful for if we just learn to look for it.

Gratitude isn’t an emotion that is reserved for those moments when you get what you want. When things go wrong you can also use the power of gratitude. I know that’s a tough one, but truly every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit. It may be a learning lesson. It may be an opportunity. It may simply be that when you know what you don’t want, it helps clarify what you do want. When faced with a problem or issue, ask yourself the following questions:
 “What’s good about this?”
 “What can I learn from this?”
 “How can I benefit from this?”
 “Is there something about this situation that I can be grateful for?”

Gratitude has physical benefits as well. Research from all over the world shows that people who are grateful:
 have stronger immune systems.
 are less bothered by aches and pains
 have lower blood pressure
 have lower stress levels.

The bottom line is, if you want better health, focus on the things you’re grateful for. The small things are just as important as the big achievements. You can feel grateful for a hot cup of coffee. The spring peepers. The wind in the trees. A smile from a stranger. Being aware of what you are grateful for, every single day, will change your life!

~ Gena Robertson, SIRCH Executive Director